There are things about my life that would surprise you, particularly when it comes to some Epic Lifetime Movie drama I’ve been thru and things I have survived.
I’ve come to believe that everything I’ve been through were lessons in life, due to my own choices, some of which, I had to endure with increasing intensity until I finally “got it”.
Psycho Seamstress was born out of the ashes of owning all the labels my tormentors had put upon me over the years, mostly by my own family and significant others.
I’d always been accused of being the crazy one. At one point the thinking voice in my head and I decided “you know what? They are right!” I am not like everybody else. I am not “normal”, nor do I ever want to be. I decided to OWN and EMBRACE the crazy, psycho, out of my mind, gifted side of me which constantly gives birth to ideas, concepts, principals, projects and more that other people can’t even conceive of.
I am outside the box.
I live outside the box, I took my box and I lit it on fiya!
I have found that people like me, can be tortured souls who struggle with our differentness. We struggle with our own silent sanity in the midst of being surrounded by people who are not like us, they dont think like us, feel like us or “get” us in any way, shape or form.
I attracted a lot of abusers to my life. People who wanted the “hot chic” but couldn’t deal with my dreamy, spiritual, ADD or die hard romantic nature.
There were many times in my life I just wanted to kill myself. I had spend most of my life struggling with suicidal depression since High School.
One night in 1998 I actually drove to the store to by a bottle of sleeping pills, which I intended to take in its entirely and hopefully die in my sleep. I picked them out. Walked to the counter. Bought them. Put them in a bag. Drove home. Opened the bag. They were gone. Nothing remained but the receipt. The proof of my intent. Devine intervention, I thought. I took the receipt. Got back in my car and drove myself to the Psych Hospital.
I didn’t want to die.
I just wanted my pain to end.
Death just seemed like the only escape at that time and many other times that followed. Every time connected with the turmoil or demise of my love (hate) relationships and court battles over my children.
I’ve spend the last 2 years single for the first time in my life. They’ve been the best 2 years of my life. I found myself. I do what I love. I healed. I survived. I am thriving. I have achieved success beyond my expectations. I’ve had opportunities greater than I felt I deserved. I am surrounded by friends who love, adore and support me. I am happy. I have joy and peace in my life. I am all I need. I have become who I meant to be. I’m living in the now. I cherish my life. I am grateful for all the hard times that made me who I am today.
I want to help others who suffer as I have. I’ve discovered teachings that in my opinion have saved my life. Books. Videos. Audiobooks.
I have a hard time reading, in fact I’m Dyslexic. I prefer audio and visual media myself.
Here are a list of some of the teachings that have changed my life. I hope they can help you too.
1. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne – this helped me realize the power of my thoughts and what I was attracting to my life.
2. In The Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant, a bible based book but more importantly the workbook is what helped me sort out where all the things I learned in life that didn’t match up with what I believe, think or feel.
3. Love and Above by Christie Marie Sheldon, this CD series caused a massive transformation in my life by helping me eliminate lower level thoughts, feelings and emotions and I finally learned how to replace them with goals, dreams, ambitions and love.
4. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle this helped get out of my head and quit dwelling on the past, stressing about the future and live in the Now.
Look into the publisher Mind Valley. They have tons of stuff based on the law of attraction.
I will add to this list as time goes on and welcome your questions, comments and life changing suggestions.
Now I’m off to the arena to work wardrobe for the Cher/Cyndi Lauper concert.